"If I don't love me, you can't love me." You may or may not know what I’m talking about. You may not even realize that what I’m talking about even pertains to you. But if you’ve ever had a bad day and lashed out at someone who cares about you just because they expressed concern, you’re experiencing this very bold statement. It has to do with self love.
On those days when you feel like poo about yourself, about your body or your ability to do something, how does that affect your attitude? Are you cranky and irritable; yelling at anyone who asks to borrow your stapler? 😒
What types of things do you say to yourself? Do you call yourself an idiot? You can't believe how stupid you were? How could you make such a dumb mistake? Do you call yourself fat, ugly, a worthless piece of poo? 😣
What actions do you take against those closest to you? Does your hubby catch the brunt of your bad mood? Do your kids feel the wrath of your inner Hulk? 😖
These thoughts and actions can drive us further into our dark hole and make us feel like an even worse human. Causing us to believe even more that we don’t deserve to be loved by anyone, because if I can’t love the person I am, how could you possibly love me?
The first step to getting out of your dark hole is to recognize and acknowledge what is going on. ✅Pinpoint the feelings you are experiencing that are causing your negative self talk and put a label on them. Are you sad 😔, angry 🤬, tired 😴, frustrated 😠, anxious 😳?
✅Use breathing techniques to calm your anxiety and quiet your mind so you can hone in on what emotions are at the base of the negativity towards yourself.
✅Use affirmations of your general awesomeness to give yourself a little boost to keep trucking through the currently tough situation.
✅Once you target your negative thoughts, reword them to be positive statements. For instance, I’d you’re thinking, “This is too hard, I'll never reach my weight loss goal.” Change it to,“This is challenging, but I have the tools to get through it, and the results I want are worth fighting for.”
If we can recognize what our negative mindset is doing to us, we can then use the mind to turn it all around. The mind will figure out how to make the body do what we want it to do; think positive thoughts and say NICE THINGS about yourself and your positivity will soon become your reality (this is called positive self talk). Don’t be afraid to harness that brain power for your own good!!😘
Self love and mindset training are a major pillar for Love R Bodies programs because, quite honestly, even I need help with it. I strive for excellence in all areas of my life, and when I fall short in even one area I can mentally beat myself up pretty hard over it. And Lord help you if you try to convince me it’s all going to be okay in the heat of the moment! But I've come a long way in changing my self talk and the beliefs surrounding my self worth, and you can too.
Believe me, this is all easier said than done. It requires repeated practice every day and sometimes it requires the help of a professional, a coach, or even a therapist to help you through. Don’t be ashamed to admit you need help in this area, because you are certainly not alone.
What are some of the things you say to yourself on a bad day? How can you reword them in a positive voice? Write it out in the comments below, I’ll share mine too!
Love,
Rachel
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