Well, the big hike weekend is over and I’m on the plane headed back to Denver. It’s always hard leaving home. Hugging my family and friends goodbye hasn’t gotten any easier over the years. The only thing that makes it more palatable is knowing I’ll see some of them again in November. Look at it as you will, but due to my constant moving and travels I feel I am fortunate to call many places home, to have so many locations on this Earth where I feel loved and welcomed. So though I’m sad to leave home, I am looking forward to returning home to my Denver family.
Departing this time feels a bit more bittersweet than usual though. When you’ve been training for an event for the last 5 months, staying so focused on one goal, you can feel a bit lost after it’s over. Like you don’t exactly know what your driving purpose should be day after day. I suppose this is why you find people who are constantly running races, constantly training for something…I feel a bit empty, but also so full of joy, relief, a sense of pride and accomplishment, and a new fuel for working towards a bigger purpose in this life.
Taking a 30 mile walk in the woods will do a couple of things for you.
1. Humble you. 2. Reveal your strengths and weaknesses. 3. Empower you.
You may believe that because I trained at altitude and my event was in MO that this walk in the woods would be, well, just a walk in the woods for me. But I’m here to tell you, it wasn’t. My team is full of long-legged fast individuals and I was actually at the back of our pack for almost the entire hike. Struggle bus. Two steps to their one, short of jogging I just couldn’t keep up. This killed me. I dislike being last, I dislike feeling inadequate, and I really dislike slowing down the group. For the first 10 miles I really beat myself up for not training harder, trying to decipher where I went wrong and why in the world I chose to go out and do this in the first place if I couldn’t live up to everyone’s expectations, including my own. I was embarrassed and angry.
But I have a solid team with an amazing leader and though I trailed behind, they never left me. And when they asked if the pace was too fast, I had to swallow a big ole humble pill and tell them, “yes, my legs can’t keep up with this pace for the next 20 miles. I have to slow down.” Ouch, that hurt to admit. Humbled.
During miles 10-20 a lot of really awesome things happened for our team. Our fastest member took a slower pace so he could courage the member at the end. Our member that struggled the most on the hike last year moved to the head of the pack and lead us the rest of hike at a solid pace (that I still had a hard time keeping up with). One member took on the responsibility of making sure the team stayed together, never leaving anyone behind (mostly me). I settled into my role as the helper and team trainer as other members started to get muscle pains or needed me to hold their pole while they pumped (Yep, that humbled me too. I’m inspired by you girl!).
We became a functioning unit all playing our parts pushing us towards the finish line. And as we crossed that line and realized we were at least 3.5 miles short of 30.1 miles, I became the team pain the arse by insisting my Strava read nothing short of 30.1 miles. Knowing full well that they might think I’m crazy, that they might hate me or curse at me because they had to wait for pizza and beer, I said I was finishing and they could join me if they wanted. They did. And we finished our miles walking laps and zigzags around a campground only to return to the last aid station to find it had been broken down, the shuttles had left, and our comfort packs already loaded into the vans. But we finished. We accomplished our goal and we did it as a team. Nothing feels better than that.
The most empowering part of the weekend was not the finish line, however. It was the awards breakfast the next morning. We get a recap of how much we raised as a group for Cystic Fibrosis Foundation ($177,000.00, in case you were wondering). Team Breathe Deep brought in almost $11,000 of that. Thank you to everyone who supported us; those who donated, or even those who saw my pictures and said to someone they know, “I know this girl who’s hiking 30 miles in one day, she’s crazy. Yeah, she does it for the CF Foundation.” That is raising awareness my friends, and you helped me do that.
So as I land in Denver, returning to my home to figure out what my next goal and drive towards purpose is, I feel more empowered to make a change, make a difference in the lives of those who share this beautiful Earth with me. It was a beautiful weekend full of ups and downs that I would signup for again and again. So although this one event for this one year is over, the fight for those living with CF is not over “Until it’s done.”
Donations to the fundraiser don’t close until the end of October. If you’ve been waiting to donate, you still have time. The FB fundraising link will stay posted until November and you can find it pinned to the top of my wall.
Love, Rachel
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